12 Weeks, a picture and a heartbeat!

Hello Baby Fekkes!

Today, you are 12 weeks old! And look at you! 

You are getting so big! A PLUM!! Look at that big head and Buddha belly of yours! 

Our first visit with Shanna, our midwife - 5.29.12 - exactly 8 years after I graduated high school!

I didn't sleep last night, a little nervous about our first check-up. Little One, I hear it is pretty normal to not fully take in pregnancy until you hear that first heart beat, see that first glimpse. 

I was worried about you. I was sick every day (still am) and not eating as great as all the books suggest. I know my body isn't perfect so I did have fears that something "could" be wrong. 

But, after hearing your heart beating so loudly and so clearly! 164 beats per minute! You were active! Are you trying to prepare us for an active baby? 

I thought I would have one of those moments like Rachel did on friends when she couldn't "see" the baby. She felt like a terrible, disconnected mother. But, then, Little One, we SAW you! 

I might have broken your dads hand gripping so tight, but there you were. 

And I will go to my grave knowing that you looked right at us and WAVED! You turned your head, your arm went in the air, and you waved! You also apparently thought you were bouncing on the moon, jumping up and down, kicking your cord, flailing your arms and feet. You babe, made this so real for us today. I stared at your picture all afternoon. 

I didn't cry when I saw you the first time. Don't be offended. I didn't cry when your dad asked me to marry him either. I didn't cry when the HPT said positive. I waited until hours later when the adrenaline wore off and it "set in." Last night, I bawled!

We watched Planet Earth and watching the mommy polar bear take care of her babes made me think of you and me. 

We talked to you for a while last night. We want you to know our voices. We told you about us, your grandparents, aunts and uncles. And you great dog and terrible dog. 

Your dad looked at you in my belly and said, "You are going to be a great musician and theologian."    Oh sweet babe, you don't have a chance. Dad will teach you how to read commentaries by age 3. You will probably skip Dr. Seuss.