Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

March 28, 2013

Conviction

Conviction - a declaration that a person is guilty of an offense. the act of moving a person by argument or evidence to belief,agreement, consent, or a course of action; (dictionary.com)
So, I was convicted the other day over my blog. When I first began blogging, it was to share my "call" to a short-term mission trip to Scotland. I wanted my supporters to witness what their support enabled me to do and God to do to/through me. My blog then transitioned into an exploration of myself and my new home in Korea. It became a travelogue of my life in Asia and the journey I found myself on in meeting and marrying my husband, Derek. One more major transition - our move back to the states, a new church, a new season of life AND - A new baby!! So, yes, the past year has been full of pregnancy posts and baby brags. Where and when did my blog stop being predominately about the God who brought about all of these wonderful and precious gifts? I don't have an answer, I just have a correction course.

So, I'm going to try as a new, very busy mother, wife, daughter and friend to bring back the glory to God and not to myself. I'm pretty sure there are enough blogs out there to teach you new how-to's, to make you green with envy about a perfect family who takes perfect pictures, and to sound a soap box of change.  Thank you sweet friend (AP) for "convicting" me of my great offense - robbing God of the credit. I don't want to offend others through this blog, but it seems apt to say the Gospel is offensive in today's world. The offense it causes is one that challenges us to know ourselves better, to know God deeper and to love others greater.

Sometimes I'm uncomfortable writing things about my relationship with God on this blog. I'm afraid to hurt others feelings or to just be too emotional. It's a learning process. Thankfully I have a husband and son who love me despite my inability to put into words the greatness of God in a humble way.

Here goes...

June 30, 2011

July

Hello July,

We are so excited that you are here! With you coming we only have you and August to get through before we are home. That means 8 1/2 weeks, 60 days in Korea, 30 teaching days (for Anlee) 15 teaching days for Derek, 24 vacation days for Anlee, one anniversary weekend, one birthday celebration (D), one Korean road trip, one last camp, one last trip to the airport and then HOME SWEET HOME!

One suitcase is already packed! One newlywed couple is counting down the days...

Sweet July, we have plans for you...they go something like this (for our family and friends sake.)

July 1st - Dallas Willard is speaking in Seoul and we are going! (He will be here for 2 weeks and we are going to try to make as many speaking engagements as we can.)

July 4-15: Finishing up the semester before Summer Camp.

July 16: Saying goodbye to our co-teachers dinner at our place!

July 18-22: Camp! Intensive English Camp Program.

July 22: DEREK'S LAST DAY!!! WOOTWOOT!

July 23: Derek's birthday weekend in Seoul! We booked another hotel room and are treating ourselves to one more weekend wonderful in Seoul. This is when we are doing any and all souvenir shopping.

July 23-31: Anlee is on vacation! We are having dental work done, surgery on my eye and packing! Derek will be playing the piano for 3-4 hours daily! We are also hoping to have a job and begin planning for what is next.

July, we literally "heart" you! We don't mind that your forecast says rain for the next 20 days! We don't mind your humidity or heat...we are just thankful you are here! 

Love,
D&A

May 27, 2011

A Sinful Woman

The story of the sinful woman in Luke 8 has always been incredibly moving and beautiful to me. Why, because I am a sinful woman. As a young, teenage Christian, I understood the language of tears and mistakes. Not weeping and sin. But, as a woman, I have come to know the sinful woman in a new way - as myself. So, today as I was reading her story once again, I'm so thankful for a Christ that commanded her to go in peace.

Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching hm and what kind of woman she is--that she is a sinner."
Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you." "Tell me, teacher," he said. "Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"  Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
 "You  have judged correctly," Jesus said. Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my  head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." ...Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace.
 When I was younger, I used to run through our pasture and sometimes land in a horse or cow patty. Disgusting, right? When Jesus was walking preaching the Good News, he walked through streets of dung. When he entered the dinner party at the Pharisee's home, his feet were gross, he smelled and it was altogether rude for his host to not offer him water to wash his feet or perfume to ward off the smell of dung, sweat and BO. 

Then, this sin-ravaged woman walks across this town knowing the Christ is near. She carries her expensive perfume to the home of a Pharisee who doesn't even see her, but only a sinner. She walks in and begins to weep. She weeps so hard that her tears alone bathe Christ's feet. Then she takes her hair, probably her prize possession next to her perfume, and begins to wash the manure and dirt from his feet. Then she takes the perfume and pours it over his feet.


This woman had no peace! She was weeping enough to bathe his feet. Christ says your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you...NOW...GO IN PEACE! What amazing peace (freedom) it must have been to walk away from this!

May 23, 2011

Application

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13
Hebrews says encourage one another daily so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Sin is deceitful. It twists itself and seeks to claim justification or an excuse or legitimacy for itself. It has to convince or entice. As I thought over this verse last night, I realized it's application this morning. I was so angry last night at something that I read. It's a continual source of bitterness that I find myself dwelling on often. I went to bed knowing my sin in dwelling and in not loving this situation through and with the love of Christ. I was letting sin enter my life and disrupt peace in Christ - as he is my hope and my worth! I slept really peacefully and deeply, but when I awoke I was tired and grumpy. This grumpiness shifted to irritation; lack of joy and just a blah attitude in general. I don't think I smiled much this morning. Compound that with the stuff that I read online (the news) in the morning and I was failing to see purpose in smiling. 

Now, where is the application of Hebrews? Sin is deceitful. It hardens our hearts. I spent hours last night trying to shrug off my frustration with this one thing I read, hours of trying to cast blame or accountability in some direction. I opened the door to a steady breeze of deceit. Trying to rationalize my sin or working through my sin without repenting on the cross deceived me. It's not enough to acknowledge the sin. It must be repented of. So, I awoke with a hardened heart. 

I'm thankful that Christ didn't allow me to dwell in this for too long. I'm retracing opening that door and closing it with the strength that is great enough to close it - the power of Christ. When Christ tells us
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24 
I begin to understand. I honestly feel a gap of insurmountable distance from Christ when I attempt to come before him with a bitter heart. I have to be humbled before I can dwell in the peace of the Lord. I pray that this in and of itself is not the deceitfulness of sin, but instead the urging of the Holy Spirit to lay it down and be made holy as he is holy.

April 24, 2011

Salvation is like a combo meal

At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split and the tombs broke open. 

Joyful Resurrection Day!  We found ourselves not "feeling" Easter as a holiday this year. Instead, we felt slightly awkward at the thought that we aren't joyful in our worship everyday. Everyday is a celebration of Easter, right? So, why do we put on our finest and cook a big ham for this particular Sunday celebration? Maybe we are far removed from the traditions that we grew up with. Here in Korea Easter is not celebrated the same. We did have a boiled egg, but it wasn't died. There were no egg hunts. No Easter baskets. (Although, I find myself really missing my mom's Easter baskets.) We had Indian curry for lunch with friends. We had an hour of worship together just singing out about how awesome Christ is and then we took some more engagement photos.

What we have noticed lately is that Easter is more than a day. It's more than a holiday, a season, but it's life and death. We are so thankful that we serve an awesome God who made his mortal body die on a cross so that we might be his children.

Derek played in the worship band on Easter Sunday. Nothing out of the ordinary for us. We sand the usual songs and had a message. One of the praise leaders shared a short message before we began worship from the daily devotional at our church. Without her soft voice, I might not do it justice, but just to share...
Imagine one sin that you have committed...now imagine that sin combined with the sin of your family. Now, imagine your combined family's sin along with your neighborhood...add that sin to the sin of your community...to your city...to your nation...now the world. Now, I want you to try to imagine the sin of all the ages...that is sin that Jesus died for...that is the weight of the sin that pierced the hands of God's son.
Wow, right? Our pastor gave a pretty great illustration of salvation this Sunday. He said salvation is like a combo meal that you get at McDonald's. You don't just order a hamburger (crucifixion). You always get fries (resurrection) and a coke (ascension). He said that salvation is not complete on the cross, but on the ascension of Christ into Heaven to be seated at the right hand of God the Father. YUP!

Words from Us: When you are in the Word, you live the Word, the Word changes you and it grows you. As we read the Bible together and in our alone time, we really see the passion that Jesus loves us with. That begins to emanate into all of our other relationships and we begin to see the passion that Jesus has for all his children. This daily helping of humble pie is so good that we begin to crave it every day with every meal!

This marks our second and what we hope is our final Easter in South Korea.With much love from two crazy lovebirds in SK, D & A

March 23, 2011

Things I'm looking forward to

Things I'm looking forward to: (as described in a letter to Amanda D.)
  • Meeting my nephew, Baby Caleb.
  • Meeting my öther nephew or niece that is soon to be determined (YAY, another one!)
  • Becoming an aunt and God-mom. I'm taking my aunt responsibility very seriously! 
  • My brother's wedding! Oh man! 
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Cheese, Mexican food
  • Jimmy Johns, Chic-fil-a, refrigerated foods, organic milk, Ameri-cone Dream Ben & Jerrys, books, shopping clearance sales with the girls, MY CAR
  • Fresh air
  • Thanksgiving turkey and dressing, cranberry sauce.
  • Hobby Lobby and craft stores
  • BATH TUB
  • My kitchenaid mixer...seriously...with an oven...seriously...
  • Dating Derek in America
  • English speaking doctors with real medical degrees with a functioning immune system
  • bread that doesn't have sugar on it
  • A separate shower and toilet
  • A CLOSET!
  • No Ajumas
  • not missing any more weddings, showers, births, etc
  • Being available by phone to my friends when they need it and being available in the country for girls weekends.
  • Big dogs, grass, parks, trees, mountains, fewer cars, no pushing, no factories, no subway, no weird color of snot, no drunken taxi drivers, no freezing temperatures for 6 months, no hot plates, no construction work outside of my window.
  • INSULATION so I can't hear my neighbors whispering! 
  • A good home church
  • Rain that I can walk in instead of acid that makes my hair fall out
  • My mom, mother-in-law and step-mom
  • a good haircut, a clothes dryer! GOOD TOOTHPASTE
  • Being a better wife to Derek in the ways that I learned how from  my mom, grandmother and great-great grandmother. 
The list goes on...that is just what came to my mind with students screaming in my classroom during lunchtime.

March 7, 2011

Blood Types

Each week I teach 2 adult classes; one for my General Teachers, another for my English Teachers. Today, I was teaching my General Teachers class. I have a day planner that is in Korean. I asked the teachers to translate the Korean words. They began to explain "name, address, telephone number, blood type"...BLOOD TYPE!  Really, is that necessary? Do I really need to know all of my contacts blood type? 

They explained to me that it is very important to know someone's blood type. In case of an emergency? NO! Here in Korea, blood type explains a lot about a person. Here's the breakdown:

A: Generous, closed-minded/narrow-minded.
B: Cheerful, kind, sensitive, moody
AB: Genius or a fool
O+/-: open-hearted, very good
I'm just going to throw it out there that I am O-! 

December 17, 2010

Derek's Faith Paper

On Faith
Faith is simple
On one level, faith appears to be a simple thing. According the writer of Hebrews, it is confidence in the reality of something we do not see, or something that we are looking forward to. Similarly, Mirriam-Webster’s definition includes the words “firm belief in something for which there is no proof.“ This seems plain enough. Isn’t such faith apart of our everyday existence? We have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow morning. We can be fairly confident in this faith, because we’ve seen it happen thousands of times, and have been told that it’s happened thousands of more times (which we believe by faith), but it’s faith nonetheless because it hasn’t happened yet. We also show faith when our friend agrees to meet us at a certain time and place and we show up at the agreed upon time and expect him to be there. The level of confidence that we place in our friend may be slightly less than in the sun rising because we have not witnessed the consistency of our friend’s promises as much as the sun, and besides that, we can think of several excuses that would cause him to break his promise. In both of these situations, we place our trust in something that is not certain. This is faith at its simplest, most fundamental level.
Faith is risky
When it comes to faith in a god or as a basis for determining our worldview, faith doesn’t always show itself to be so simple. One reason for this is that faith is risky. By its very nature, it carries with it an element of risk. While the risks may not be all that apparent in small, everyday matters, they are more obvious in matters of beliefs about life. All faith involves placing our trust in something that is not certain. Whether we are trusting in the ability of the government to rule rightly or in the historicity of the Bible’s claims, we place our hope in something we cannot prove. We can be confident in the object of our faith but not certain. We always risk being wrong. We always risk being made the fool. When we are talking about our friend meeting us, the risks are nothing more than the time it takes to get there and feeling slightly foolish when he doesn’t show up. However, when it comes to a worldview, the risks are much greater. Here we are choosing to base our whole existence on faith. If we are wrong, we are living by a lie and it has eternal implications. We also leave ourselves open to ridicule and critique by those who don’t share our faith.
Faith is not emotions
Before we go any further, we must note two things that faith is not. First, faith is not a feeling or emotion. Faith of any value will be much deeper than our emotions. Emotions change unexpectedly and not necessarily due to a change in our knowledge of the facts. You may have a feeling that something bad is going to happen to you today, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you believe that feeling. C.S. Lewis says, “Faith...is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods” (Mere Christianity 138-139). If we based our faith and beliefs on emotions or moods that can shift by the minute, we’d be exceedingly confusing creatures and would make little progress in life. There are times, and lots of them for certain types of people, when faith seems to be driven by the roller-coaster of emotions, but I think what we are looking at in these times is mostly emotion and hardly faith. We hold our faith beliefs at a deeper level; they are more consistent and not likely to be changed simply by an emotion. In fact, emotions are more likely to be changed by faith. Emotions may affect faith to a degree, but if they were the sole basis for faith, faith wouldn’t be anything worth talking about.
Faith is not illogical by nature
One other thing that must be stated is that faith is not by nature illogical or against reason. Faith is not necessarily logical or illogical. It may be either one of these terms, but it can be defined by neither. It is more logical for me to place my faith in the sun rising tomorrow than in it not rising because all the evidence suggests that it will rise. It is logic that leads me to believe that my wife loves me because I see signs of it in what she does for me. Reason can lead us to faith and it can lead us away from it. While reason can carry us only so far in matters of faith, faith rarely works without some degree of reason. Marxist scholar Terry Eagleton, in his review of Richard Dawkins's The God Delusion, writes, "Reason, to be sure, doesn't go all the way down for believers, but it doesn't for most sensitive, civilized, non-religious types either. Even Richard Dawkins lives more by faith than by reason. We hold many beliefs that have no unimpeachably rational justification, but are nonetheless reasonable to entertain" (Timothy Keller, The Reason For God, 120).
Faith is based on evidence
Faith is always by nature without certainty, but it is hardly ever without some evidence. It is a fool who chooses faith apart from any evidence. Everybody lives by faith in some aspects of their lives. In most cases where there is an opportunity for faith, it is usually a choice between faith in this or faith in that, or faith in an event happening or faith in it not happening. Rarely are we presented with faith as one option and complete certainty or fact as the other. We all use logic to compile the evidence and choose where to place our faith. When it comes to matters of faith, people may disagree on the weight to give certain evidence, but they can rarely argue that there is no evidence whatsoever.
Much evidence for faith is relational
If faith is almost always accompanied by evidence, then a look at the characteristics of that evidence will help shed some light on our understanding of faith. It seems to me that quite often the evidence we base our faith on is relational. What I mean is that it is affected by whether or not we deem another person, group, or entity trustworthy. We will take the risk of putting our faith in another if we trust their character. Our faith is a recognition of their faithfulness or goodness. When I open a history or science book to learn something about the subject, I am showing that I trust the character of it’s authors, or maybe the publishers of the book. When a little boy obeys his parents when they tell him not to play in the road, he is trusting in the goodness of his parents. The faithfulness of the parents is the evidence for the faith of the child. There may be other evidence that influences the child not to play in the road, but his confidence in his parents’ goodness certainly plays a major role. When faith is affected by the character of its object in this way, there exists a relationship between the possessor of the faith and its object. In such instances, faith is not simply an intellectual, cognitive belief but becomes synonymous with trust. Not trust that a certain belief is true, but trust in a person. It is a decision to trust a source. Furthermore, when faith is embedded in trust in another individual our source, when it has this relational component, it is hardly ever a one time decision to have faith, but is usually part of an enduring confidence in the faithfulness of that particular individual or source. We see this in most cases of learning.
A faithful source leads to confident faith
Much of what we “know” we learned from teachers or reading up on a subject. In both cases, for any learning to happen, we must make a decision to trust in the source. Lesslie Newbigin, in his book The Gospel in a Pluralist Society, has the following observation: “If we consider what is involved in learning to know anything, we will see that knowing has to begin with an act of faith. We have to trust the evidence of our eyes and ears, or, if we are learning a language, or learning science or history or any other branch of knowledge, we have to begin by trusting those who undertake to teach us” (19). Learning in this sense is rarely a matter of trusting individual bits of information, again and again, at each and every point, but is most often an enduring decision about the trustworthiness, or faithfulness, of the source. In fact, Mirriam-Webster’s definition of faith also includes the words: “steadfast in affection or allegiance.” It is in this understanding of faith that we say things like, “I have faith in my friends,” or “I have faith in the government.” In saying these things we profess something of an obedience or allegiance on our part. Such statements reveal the relational aspect of faith, and how the faithfulness, trustworthiness, or goodness of an individual or source leads to confident faith.
Faith according to Christianity
We now turn to faith as it relates to Christianity in particular. That faith is central to Christianity and the Bible is clear. The Bible says things such as, “The righteous will live by faith” (Rom. 1:17), faith “is of greater worth than gold” (1 Pet. 1:7), and even “everything that does not come from faith is sin” (Rom. 14:23). Jesus commands and commends faith. “Have faith in God,” (Mark 11:22) he tells his disciples, and to the crowds, “Repent and believe” (Mark 1:15). To some degree, faith of the Christian kind is just like the faith we find in everyday situations. As with any faith, faith in the Christian God is faith in something we do not see and that cannot be proved. Because of this, faith in the Christian God is risky. A Christian can be confident in his/her beliefs and hopes but not certain. But just like most faiths that people hold, Christian faith is not necessarily illogical, and is usually accompanied by much evidence. The nature of the evidence, and the weight given to each piece of evidence, varies from person to person, but no one makes a decision of this magnitude, no one chooses their worldview, without some evidence. Finally, Christian faith shares a likeness with many other types of faith in that much of its evidence is relational. Faith in the Christian God means trust in the goodness, faithfulness, and dependability of God Himself. And it is with this idea that we shall spend the rest of this paper.
Christian faith has a relational component
Faith, as presented in Christianity, is relational. The ideas and claims of Christianity are presented within a relational dynamic. They pertain not just to morality or a way of life, but speak of how one can have a relationship with God. Jesus, in addition to commanding faith, preached a message of obedience, trust, love and worship. “Trust in God, trust also in me,” he tells his disciples in John 14:1. And later on, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching” (John 14:23). The claims of Christianity are inextricably linked with the ultimate source of those claims. Biblical faith is much more than a cognitive, intellectual decision to agree with certain beliefs. If that was all it was, the Bible’s commands for faith and belief would be empty. Apart from a relational component, apart from the existence of a trustworthy source, a command for belief and faith is utterly ridiculous. Unless their exists a trustworthy being or source, we arrive at faith by a weighing of the evidence and reason, not because of a command. A command only makes sense in a relational dynamic.
Faith in God as revealed in the Bible
Now, there may be debate about whether or not the God of the Bible exists in the first place. If the participants in this debate do not permit the claims of the Bible to carry any weight or truthfulness-in other words, if faith in the Bible is not accepted into the debate-then the relational dynamic of Christian faith can hardly be spoken of. In fact, I’m not sure if any significant aspect of Christian faith can be spoken of at this point. Not because Christian faith is dependent on the Bible alone, but because Christian faith is dependent on the God who is revealed in the Bible. Christian faith involves both believing in the Bible’s revelation of God and trusting in the God of the Bible. Much could be said about this dual nature of Christian faith, but all I will say here is that the two work together and are less distinct then they seem.
Trust in God is the goal of the Christian faith
Once one comes to belief in the Biblical God, he is carried along not so much by his weighing of the evidence and reasoning at each and every point, but by his trust in the faithfulness of God. Not that the weighing and reasoning don’t play a part, they’re just not the driving force. Donald Miller, in his book Searching for God Knows What, says, “I realized the gospel of Jesus, I mean the essence of God’s message to mankind...wasn’t a series of ideas we had to agree with either; rather, it was an invitation, an invitation to know God” (14). The journey towards Christian faith may begin by agreeing to certain beliefs about the world, its beginnings and purpose, but if it never gets beyond these cognitive assertions to a trust in God Himself, it never reaches Christian faith. A true Christian must move past the point of agreeing to certain truths, and begin submitting to the Being behind those truths. In conclusion, while firm belief in the validity of the objective truths of Christianity is critical, it is not the main concern or focus for the Christian. The believer is more concerned with trust, obedience, and worship. This is the nature of Christian faith. As the writer of Hebrews says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith” (12:2).
“There’s no arrival, but no denying
Theres something in you that is worth finding
Theres no completion with only reason
Theres no movement without believing
Theres more than these two eyes are seeing
By faith its finished, by faith we raise
By faith is every step aliveand this is how we rise
So a risk I will take and Im letting it go
My need to be right and my fear of unknown
With a chance Ill be wrong and a chance that Ill fall
Ill collapse in your arms, cause this is how we rise.
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