A friend of Derek's sent him a message this week saying "whatever you expect and plan for in marriage, the opposite will happen...when you try not to have kids, you will. When you try to have kids, it won't be easy...jobs, houses, etc..."
The depth of those honest words are ringing true for Derek and I right now. The house that was "our version of perfect" is no longer hours. Due to some financial conflicts with our schools, we are no longer getting the house (really apartment, but considered a house here in Korea.) Because we are not "yet" married, my future school is not willing to put a deposit down on a house for Derek and I to live in together when we come back to Korea. Instead, they think it best for us to live in 2 SEPARATE APARTMENTS for the year...our first year of marriage.
Not going to happen for us. So, back to the drawing board. Derek is out looking for apartments today...with the amount of money we are being given, it will be small, it won't be our "vision" but as Derek keeps reminding me, we will have each other. God has purpose in this disappointment. He is teaching us to rely on him and to honor his wisdom and plan in our lives. I'm trying to hold on to that truth. I'm struggling. I'm realizing more and more that I have a desire to be a wife that builds a home and, to be honest, is southern in her ways. Need to be working on letting those expectations fall away and instead allowing Jesus to work in and through me to love on this wonderful man.
Hope to write soon about our "next" home.
10 days and I'll be in the states...haven't started packing up my apartment. I have to move across town in the next few days, celebrate Derek's birthday, check off a million other things on my list and make sure that I can get my visa to come back to Korea. Whew...your prayers would be greatly received in this time.
His love and mine,
the soon-to-be Mrs.
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