As Derek and I delve deeper into the fascinating world of "expecting," we realize that many people and our culture in general have a lot of "expectations" for us. For most women here is how a standard pregnancy goes...
You realize you are pregnant. You make that first appointment with your OB/GYN that you've had for years, your mother had, go to the doctor that actually birthed you or just the first one your insurance will accept. You have your first pre-natal. Things go well. You continue on with this doctor. You develop a birth plan. You want A, B, and C. Maybe an epidural. Maybe you want a natural birth in a hospital setting. For 99% of women in America, this is what the first few months of their pregnancy will resemble.
After prayer, research, research and more research, Derek and I are scraping this entire idea of birth. We have chosen to hire a midwife as our birth attendant and a birth center, not a hospital, as our delivery room. Before anyone freaks out on us, we really are making what we consider to be the most informed decision. Just something to share: the United States has the second largest maternal mortality rate in the developed world and is second in C-sections to Brazil (where women routinely schedule their c-section between hair appointments and pedicures.)
Derek and I knew instinctively that we wanted to try a natural birth. (Or Anlee had it on her mind and explained it to Derek.) We explored the reasons why we wanted this and decided we needed to explore the safety of actually doing it. We've consulted a few different women that are close to us about their birth experiences, two of which are our mother's. Lori, Derek's supermom, was able to give us a lot of insight into natural births and midwives. Annette, Anlee's supermom, was able to give us a lot of insight into hospital births and a need to understand that sometimes things can go wrong. We are so thankful to have these women walk this journey with us!
We started researching more and Derek found a midwife here in Midland. We read every single word on their website and decided we wanted to call for an interview and tour. In the meantime, Anlee started completing her new patient inventory for a regular OB/GYN appointment. After realizing that we would have to sign off in advance on multiple tests and screenings that we were uncomfortable with and that the office allowed for terminating pregnancies if results were abnormal - down syndrome, T-18, etc - we decided to CANCEL our appointment at that office.
To prepare for our interview with the midwife, I began reading books, reading forums and compiling a two page document of questions to ask. I had no idea what some of the questions meant, but I had them. I wanted answers. What we soon realized was that it wasn't a one-sided interview. We were being interviewed by the midwife.
Excited and incredibly nauseous, we waited on our interview to begin. This absolutely beautiful woman with a welcoming smile can into the room, sat on the leather sectional and asked us to tell her why we wanted a natural birth. I told her that I felt in my heart that I needed to experience the full extent of God's act of creation in my body, without intervention or medication. I can't explain why, but I need to understand what my body can do and to live for the purpose that I was designed to have a baby. My body is a baby maker. I want to experience it fully. I'm not a masochist. I HATE pain! I HATE needles, but I know that we want a healthy, natural birth with people who understand our desire to make this more than the-most-memorable day, but a day that we can draw closer to God and to each other. I want to bond with our baby as soon as its born. Not after the doctors cart the babe away to check-it-over. Now I think that had we given her an answer that didn't meet the philosophy and ministry of the birthing center, she would have gently explained that we are not good candidates.
After completing a two page interview that she conducted and getting her go-ahead, I began my tirade of questions. All were met with understanding and a deep desire to give me truth. (Do you know that there is a huge controversy over when to cut/clamp the cord? If you don't know what that means, inbox me, but now I know and now I can make an informed decision for our family.)
What I loved most about this interview is the midwife never felt frustrated by my questions, but in one instance she stopped me and put me in my place. She said, "Anlee and Derek, fear is not of the Lord and you have to surrender it to him." I thought, "God, you did this for us. Brought us here, blessed us with a little one and gave us a special gift of partnering with this woman."
The center has three midwives on board with one apprentice. One backup physician always on call. The hospital is less than one mile down the road with private transport if needed. Full baby and mother resuscitation equipment is available. All are licensed to administer Pitocin, but only for hemorrhaging, not for inducing. That is philosophy. There are three birthing rooms, unless you choose a home birth, where all of your prenatal visits are scheduled. That way you know your way around your delivery room and are comfortable and free. They have a birthing tub, birthing classes, mommy yoga, baby massage...scripture is painted on the walls...I can't describe how excited we are to pursue a natural birth here with these women.
I'M TERRIFIED! I have doubts of my physical strength to deliver our little one, but if you also have that doubt, DO NOT SHARE IT WITH US! We want only encouragement. We need you to call and say, YOU CAN DO THIS!
As a side note, we are open and willing to change our birth plan if medically it is needed for the little one. If my body fails and this baby needs medical intervention, WE WILL have it. We haven't closed our mind to it, we just deeply desire this to be a bonding experience between us and our little one, and most importantly, God.
If you want to check out the website for
Motherly Way, please do! http://motherlywaymaternityservices.com/
